New Eclipse: Fire & Ice
by D3c0d3x
Summary: Bella decides she needs a break from both Edward and Jacob. How will Edward handle it if she decides to try to fall for a human boy? Will he let her pretend to be happy, or prove he's better for her than him?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! Here is my second story relating to Twilight. I try to keep as true to the characters personalities as possible, but I think I'll need to venture out a little bit on Bella's. In my story, she won't be quite as uncoordinated – still clumsy, just not so much she can't walk without falling. She will also need to stand up for herself with Edward a bit more. Throughout the books it seemed to me it was all about her pleasing everyone else. What if she made some decisions the boys had to follow? Read on to find out! Review if you'd like, especially if you have any ideas! I have a loose plot, but nothing that can't be altered for a good idea!**

**Enjoy!**

**Oh, and I don't own anything Twilight. Credit all goes to Stephenie Meyer! Brilliant woman!**

_Oh no._ I thought as we exited the school building. Jacob was standing on the sidewalk, waiting for Edward and I. There was supposed to be a storm tonight, and I wanted to go with the Cullens to watch them play baseball.

I loved watching them shy from their human façade. I knew Jacob was going to have an issue with it. I was supposed to be spending the afternoon on the reservation with him.

I was planning on calling him when I got home, but apparently he decided to come meet me here.

Edward growled softly as we approached Jacob.

"Hey Jake, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I decided to surprise you… surprise!" he grinned.

I couldn't help but grin back. Being around Jacob, it was so easy to be cheerful.

"Bella has decided she would rather spend the night with my family and I," Edward said coolly.

"Edward!" I half shriek. I hate when they act like this with each other.

"No way," says Jacob. "I have plans with Bella for tonight!" he whines.

When they bicker over me I feel like a twelve year old dealing with her parents divorce. I'm forever stuck between my werewolf best friend, and my vampire boyfriend. Mortal enemies, brought together by me, the lowly human.

A crowd is beginning to form and it makes me self conscious. I hate being the center of attention.

Edward is usually more careful than this, I tug on his arm and pointedly look at the people watching.

"This isn't the place to throw a fit Jacob. Can't scare the children," Edward says smoothly.

I hate when they talk about everyone my age as children. I know Edward does it to be condescending to Jacob, but Jacob is only a few years younger than I.

I look at them both, briefly wondering how this will end.

Edward has been increasingly protective over me, and Jacob is starting to behave the same way. Like I'm becoming more fragile with every passing second.

I think Jacob is just trying to spend as much time with me as possible before my heart stops beating, but it's still annoying.

We all walk closer together so no one can overhear. I wish I could just go sit in the car. I'm tired of all of this.

They both cross the line when Jacob reaches out to pull my arm. "She's mine tonight!" he says forcefully.

Edward pulls me out of Jacob's grasp before he could pull me towards him. "No, dog. She's mine, every night. You only get to borrow her."

It takes a few seconds for them both to realize I'm trying to pull away from them and not just flailing around.

"I am my OWN! I do NOT belong to anyone!" I shriek. So much for not drawing attention to myself.

"Bella, be reasonable." Edward stresses. I'm sure he just means to remind me not to make a scene, but I don't care.

"I've had enough!" I yell, disgusted with them both. I threw my hands into the air and spun around. Angela was thankfully driving right towards us, I flag her down and she rolls down her window.

"Hey Bella! What's up?"

"Hey... would you mind taking me home?"

She raises her eyebrows questioningly. I see her cower slightly in her seat as she glances behind me. I can only imagine the looks they are giving her.

I walk around the car and open the door. Before I slid into the seat I glance over the roof of the car, "don't follow me," I whisper, knowing they would both hear.

Angela is such a good friend. She never even asked me what was going on; although I knew she had to wonder. When we were finally at my house, I got out, thanked her profusely and walked into my house.

I may have slammed the door a little too hard because Charlie, who was napping on the couch, jumped up, hand going to his belt where his gun normally is.

"Sorry Dad." I manage to look sheepish.

"What's going on Bells?" I know he means well, but I just can't talk about this now… I need to figure it out in my head first.

"Oh nothing Dad, just a long day." I pause for a moment; he seems to have bought it. I venture a little further, "hey, do you mind if we order in tonight? I'm not really up to cooking."

"Sure, no problem. Don't worry about it." He shuffled into the kitchen to the junk drawer to pull out some menus.

Before he can ask, "you pick dad, I'm going to go upstairs and start on my homework."

I stop off in the bathroom, when I look in the mirror I realize I look a bit frazzled. The shorter pieces of my hair are wispy and loose from the ponytail. My cheeks are mottled and my eyes are wide. I try to relax my muscles, but nothing changes.

I start to think back to what I just did as I make my way to my room. I quickly scan the room, making sure my orders were followed, and flop on the bed.

I pulled the tie from my hair and let it fall loosely around my shoulders.

What now? I'm so tired of Edward being so protective. I know that he's only trying to keep me safe – but I survived 17 years without him in a city a thousand times bigger than Forks. Yes, I know I seem to attract more danger here, but maybe it's not all me. Maybe I'm attracting more danger because of Edward.

I heave a big sigh. "That's ridiculous," I mutter aloud.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I can't keep going like this. I wanted to be changed, but now I'm not a hundred percent sure. I want to be a thousand percent sure before I ask for something there is NO coming back from.

I can't tell Edward – but I'm sure Alice has already seen that I'm having doubts. Maybe that's why he's been overly protective lately. It's gotten almost silly.

He sabotaged my truck because I promised I'd finally let him replace it when it finally bit the dust. The next week, it just stopped working. Charlie offered to let me use the cruiser for a few days until we could find a replacement. I kindly declined that offer.

I insisted that Jacob look at it, he is after all a mechanic. Edward got to him first though. I'm sure of it.

He lifted up the hood, poked around a bit and sad, "Sorry Bells. No can fix." I was defeated.

When Edward drove me home the next day, my brand new car was sitting outside the house. It was dark grey with tinted windows. I will admit it looked very sleek. I asked what it was, and he told me it was an Armored Audi S8. Armored, very funny.

I thought back to earlier this afternoon in the parking lot at school. I didn't mean to blow up like I did, but I need to get my thoughts in order. I just feel like I'm losing myself, losing what makes me Isabella Swan.

I don't want to be coddled, I want to be lusted after, loved, caught up in a whirlwind romance that steals both parties breath away. I don't want to be 'only human' in a supernatural romance. But I'm not sure I'm ready to step into eternity. I was always so sure.

But, what if I take that step and it's not even remotely close to as it is now. What if it's much worse? Will Edward still want me around when I can fend for myself? When he doesn't need to swoop in and save me? When I don't blush? When I will be able to run beside him instead of latched to his back?

Will he still want me when he doesn't have to be restrained.. when he can kiss me freely, without holding back.

Maybe he only wants me now because it's all so new. Every time Edward allows me to cross the boundary line he draws every night, it's different, exciting, new. When I'm changed we won't need that boundary line. When things aren't so new, will they still be exciting?

I decided to take a hot shower before I allowed my thoughts to overtake me.

As I was walking to the bathroom I heard the doorbell chime.

_Please be the food_ were my only thoughts.

I heard my dad shuffle to the door, "is Bella home?" I heard his perfect voice float up the stairs.

My heart picked up in double time, I knew he could hear it, he knew I was home even before he knocked. Now he knew I knew he was here.

"Bella, Edward's here" Charlie yelled up the steps. I was frozen, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to run down the stairs and allow his marble arms to encase me, hold me forever. But I knew that wasn't an option.

I still didn't decide what to do next. After my fit in the parking lot that afternoon I had to figure out what I meant by it, and what I was going to do now. I couldn't expect things to go back to normal.

I glanced down the stairs to see Charlie looking up at me like I was crazy. I never hesitated when Edward came over.

"Uh, tell him I'm hopping in the shower.. and I'll call him later?" I quickly asked my dad. I knew Edward heard me and I was sure he was as confused as I was.

I wonder what Alice saw in my future now, it was probably changing rapidly, maybe that's why he was here.

Charlie gleefully told Edward I wasn't available, grudgingly adding I'd call him later.

I practically ran the last few steps to the bathroom. When I was safely inside I rested my back against the door, drawing my bottom lip between my teeth and closing my eyes.

I sighed. I hated this. I wish I knew what to do. I had to let Edward know that this wasn't alright, that I had to live my life. I wanted to share my life with him, not have him dominate every aspect.

Maybe that was being too harsh. I love Edward, honestly I do. I just feel like he's slowly becoming another father figure instead of my boyfriend.

I opened my eyes and yelped. Edward was standing a few feet away from me.

"W-w-what are you doing?" I whispered.

"Bella" he croaked. "What's going on?" he sounded so pained.

"I-I don't know, Edward. I just need to think some things through."

"Talk to me Bella, you know I can't hear your thoughts, and it drives me insane. I want to know what you're thinking."

"I'm glad you can't hear my thoughts. Some things should be private." He visibly flinches. I reach out, as if to soothe him, then I remember he's standing in my bathroom, uninvited.

"Edward, please. Just… I need time. Just to think." I didn't realize I had closed my eyes again, but when I opened them, he was gone.

Did I imagine it? I couldn't have. Impossible.

I look behind the shower curtain, just in case, chastising myself as I do so. I do believe Edward is quite a bit more sophisticated than to hide in a bathtub.

When I'm done with my shower, I realize it didn't help at all. I was supposed to sort though my thoughts.

Before I leave the bathroom, I stand in front of the fogged up mirror. Looking at my foggy, distorted reflection I make my next few decisions quickly.

I think of Alice very hard. I imagine what she's doing right now, hunting. Her eyes glass over and she sees me, standing in a steamy bathroom.

I scrawl _Please, don't tell him _on the bathroom mirror. I hope this works.

I calmly walk down the stairs, looking for my dad.

"Hey dad, I think I'm going to go visit mom for a while."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here is chapter two! Sorry it took so long, but I couldn't get it right in my head. I played around with a bunch of storylines until this one worked! Enjoy!**

Ah, beautiful, sunny, warm, Phoenix. I missed this so much. My mom is happily chatting away, thrilled that I asked if I could come to Phoenix for a little bit.

I haven't bought a return ticket yet. I will go home, I see Forks as my home now, but I need to get my life in order first.

I have to decide if I'm going to fall back into the same pattern I fled from, or if I can make some changes.

I don't know if Edward is capable of changing his ways so drastically.

What a mess this has become. I miss how it was when I first found out he was a vampire, when it was all still so new. Now, I feel like he just bosses me around. I know he does it in my best interest, but I want some control.

My mom notices my morose mood and decides she isn't waiting any longer to find out why I'm really here.

"Bella," she sighs, "spill."

"Mom..everything is fi-" she cut me off.

"Isabella Marie! I know you too well to know everything is not just fine.. what's going on – did you and Edward have fight?"

Just like my mom to hit the nail on the head.

I sighed. "It's just…" I pondered what to say next. How to explain that the vampire who may or may not be my boyfriend anymore has become overly controlling. "yeah, we had a fight." That's the best I could do.

"Aw, Bella.. I'm sure it will blow over, do you want to talk about it?"

I didn't, or at least I thought I didn't. Once I starting talking, I couldn't stop it. It was like word vomit.

"I think we broke up. Well, I think I broke up with him. Ugh! Mom, I just don't know what to do – he's become so controlling lately. I love him, I really do, but I can't take this anymore. They are constantly fighting over me, I just want to have a normal relationship… No, that's not right either.. I want Edward.. as he was when we first met. I don't know how to get him back like before."

"Wow, Bella.."

I didn't realize how much of a rant I actually went on. I had actually forgotten my mom was listening, I hoped I didn't reveal anything too incriminating.

"Bella, it sounds like he's jealous… you said that they are always fighting over you.. who is, honey?"

I decided I would be a truthful as possible, without putting my mom in danger with the Volturi.

"Edward and Jacob," I sigh.

"I think he's just jealous, baby. Sometimes boys, men, are irrational when it comes to the things they love. I know he loves you, honey. I can tell by the way you talk about him."

I ponder this. "I don't think it's jealousy, but it's something." I was leaning towards hardheadedness or obsessive protective disorder.

"How Phil?" I counter before she has a chance to ask any more Edward related questions. She seems to get the point, Edward is momentarily forgotten.

Two weeks later I decide I should go home. I loved spending time with my mom, but it's time I get back. I'm sure Charlie would be almost starved, or broke from eating out every meal.

I packed, gave my mom a tearful goodbye, and promised I'd visit soon.

As I was on the plane, I realized I missed Edward very much. I couldn't wait to get home and be in his marble arms again.

Everything that happened before seemed so trivial as I landed in Seattle. I didn't tell anyone I was coming home, I was going to get a taxi to take me home to surprise everyone, but I was the one surprised when I stepped off the plane to a jubilant Alice.

Of course Alice would have seen me coming home. I became excited as I made my way over to her.

"Bella!" She squealed.

"Oh, Alice! I missed you!" And I really had, I should have told her I was leaving, instead of just taking off – but I knew she would know why, she knew I was feeling a little smothered by Edward.

"A taxi, Bella? Honestly.."

I giggled. It was really good to be back. Only after Alice helped me retrieve my luggage, and I was safely strapped in her Porsche did she begin the questions.

"So, you left…" she started.

"I'm sorry I didn't mention anything to you, I just.. I needed to get away, you know. But, I think things are alright now. I just needed some.. space.. you know?"

"Of course, Bella. I just wish you would have told me instead of scrawling 'please don't tell him' on the mirror! It took me ages to figure out what it meant, I didn't realize until I saw you actually get on the plane in Seattle. You're very good at making last minute decisions, Bella."

I snickered. So maybe **I** could surprise Alice someday.

Conversation bubbled around us until we were finally in front of my house. I told Alice all about why exactly I left, what I did with my mom, and why I decided to come back. She said she understood, but I don't think she is telling me everything.

I asked her to tell Edward to come over tonight, she said she would.

After having dinner with an ecstatic Charlie, I jumped in the shower and got ready for Edward. I took special pains to blow dry my hair. I even made sure I had on his favorite shirt, my deep blue v-neck sweater.

When I finally walked into my room, Edward was waiting for me.

I could feel my pulse race and my face turn red as he walked towards me, I almost ran to him.

Finally, I was in his marble arms again. The reunion was made pure perfection when he sighed my name.

"I missed you," I breathed.

"And I you. But Bella, why did you leave, I was so worried when I realized you took off!" His melodic voice turned harder towards the end.

"Edward," I started to explain, but he halted me.

"No, Bella. It is unacceptable, it's my job to keep you protected, how can I do that if you decide to hop on a plane on whim?"

I looked at him helplessly as I could feel my face heating up with shame. I was about to apologize when I realized this is exactly why I fled – he was supposed to be my boyfriend, not my father. Now I was angry.

"Your job?" I squeaked. "Your job? Is that how you see me, as a job you are required to do?"

"Bella, be rational."

"No! No, Edward! This is _exactly_ why I 'fled' to Phoenix. You're too controlling. I'm supposed to be your girlfriend, not something you have to protect. And I didn't jump on a plane on a whim! I went to visit my mother! I have every right to visit her anytime I please!" I completely avoided his eyes as I continued on my rant. "Between you and Jacob fighting over me and you constantly deciding what I can and cannot do, I'm thoroughly fed up!"

I glanced at Edward after I was finally done. He looked furious at me; I shrunk back against the door.

"Is that what you really think of me Bella?"

"Er… I don't know.. Maybe." I think I looked sheepish. Whatever he saw in my expression must not have been reassuring though, because his next words changed everything.

"You let me know when you figure it out, Isabella." And then he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys, here is chapter three – sorry it's been a while, but like I said before – I can't write unless the characters are willing to cooperate :P Tonight, Bella finally got her thoughts together and made a decision! Enjoy!**

Chapter Three

I needed time. I needed space. I am a chicken. I wrote Edward a ton of letters, trying to properly convey my feelings.

_Edward,_

_I can't do this. I need to figure out what I want. _

No. Too vague.

_Edward,_

_I love you, but I'm not in love with you…_

Lies.

_Edward,_

_I think we should just be friends._

More lies. I know what I want, I'm irrevocably in love with Edward, and I can't just be his friend. I have to have him, all or nothing. _Think Bella!_ I had to figure out how to tell him I needed a break.

I turned away from my desk and Alice was lounging on my bed. I gasped and clutched my throat. I'm still not used to them popping up, unseen and unheard.

"Come sit down, Bella," she trilled.

I carefully walked over and perched beside her. "Alice," I sighed. "What am I going to do?"

"Oh, Bella… I'm sorry things are confusing right now. I know you love my brother, and I know he loves you, but sometimes love isn't enough."

She said it so casually I think I flinched. "Oh, no Bella! I didn't mean it like that! I just meant that sometimes you need to get away from the person you love to realize why you love them so."

I sighed. She made sense. I knew that, and it was exactly what I wanted. But, how in the world do I tell Edward I need a break from him to remind myself how much I wanted him?

It wasn't until I felt her cool, marble arms around my shoulders that I realized I was silently crying.

"You're right, Alice. I have to tell him that I need a break."

Alice, being the best friend that she is stayed by my side all night long and let me cry. When I awoke, she had my clothes laying out on the rocking chair with a note.

_Bella, Just wear the clothes! I spoke with Edward, he is trying to understand, he's not angry – but anxious to talk with you. I wrote you a note from Charlie excusing you from school today. I will give it to Mrs. Cope. Try not to worry! xoxo Alice._

She wrote a note from Charlie… what if he finds out? Oh, I'll be in so much trouble! And why wasn't I going to school today? I was just about to call Alice to have her explain it to me when I saw the rest of the note.

_P.S – RELAX! No one suspects anything. It will all work out, I've seen it. Edward will be there in 20 minutes, Bella. Pull yourself together! Destroy this note!_

I breathed a sigh of relief. Never bet against Alice.

I scurried around the bathroom and my room to get ready in time, but sure enough on my last trip to my bedroom Edward was waiting for me.

I wasn't sure how I expected him to show up, but there he was. I was momentarily glad that I burned Alice's letter before I got ready.

"Were you burning something Bella?" he asked, puzzled.

"Oh, uh.. no, just burning a candle." As soon as I said it I wished I could take it back. Of course he would know it was a lie. Not only am I a terrible liar, but he would obviously smell the lack of any scent a candle would give off. I had the good grace to blush. He just raised an eyebrow, but didn't ask any more questions.

I wasn't sure how to start the conversation. I didn't have a clue how to begin. _Can we talk?_ Seems so stupid. Of course we can talk, that's why he was here. '_I need to talk to you'_ was equally as pointless.

I settled for a loud sigh and flopped on the bed beside him. "This is really hard," I muttered.

"Then don't do it," was his reply.

I threw him a pointed glance and he conceded. "I don't want to lose you, Bella."

"You're not losing me, Edward. I just need some time apart, I think. Just to find myself again. I feel lost, like I'm going to disappear under the pressure of trying to avoid danger, and keeping everything balanced. I just need some semblance of normalcy in my life."

The waves of hurt rolling off of him were stifling. He was about to leave, I could feel it.

"Wait, please… let me get this out," I pleaded. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea about what I said." I paused, waiting to see if he'd let me continue.

"I'm not going anywhere, Bella. Please continue," he said deadpan.

"Edward, when I was in Phoenix, the thought of growing old – alone – used to bother me. Then I made all these elaborate plans to fill the void I thought I'd have by not getting married and having a family. I spent the majority of my free time wondering how I'd spend my future that I missed the present. Then, when I came here, and met you… I threw all those plans aside, I didn't need them anymore. I had you, and the promise of forever, and that was enough. But then I started getting into trouble, needing to be saved constantly."

I had been studiously avoiding his eyes until this point. When I looked at him, his hard golden eyes cracked and softened, urging me to continue. I kept the contact, and continued, finding strength to do what I had to do somewhere.

"I know you love me, I don't doubt that for a second. And I want you to know that I'm grateful that I have you here to save me, and that I love you too – that's what is making this so hard. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't care – but Edward, you're my whole life, and that's what scares me. Last year, when… you know.."

I had to look away, the hole in my chest was threatening to burst open. I continued, looking down at our entwined hands.

"When… you left." I squeaked. "I was broken, empty, lifeless. Edward, I had thought of just ending it all so many times, Charlie was the only reason I kept going. I didn't fall back on all the plans I'd made for my life. I just stopped living."

"Bella," he whispered. "It was such a massive mistake leaving you, you know that."

I felt cool fingers on my face, softly wiping away my falling tears. I scrambled on the bed to get closer to him. When our lips connected the whole world fell away, it was hot and cold at the same time. All the carefully constructed boundaries Edward had set for us crumbled under my onslaught. Like fire and ice, we burned for each other.

When we finally broke, breathless, I was trembling. That's what I've been missing, I realized.

I voiced my thoughts. "That's what I've been missing Edward. Since you've come back, it's been so careful, so guarded. I want a whirlwind romance; I want you to want me as much as I want you. I know you love me, but do you want me? No, I'm sorry – that's not a fair question… it's just so confusing right now. I just feel like if I don't take a break now, I won't ever be able to. Say something, please, don't let me keep rambling."

"Wow, Bella… I don't know where to begin. Just.. give me a moment."

He became so still I thought he would never stir again. I became restless quickly and it took a great exercise in control not to fidget. Just as I was about to start babbling again, he came to life.

He untangled our fingers and fluidly rose from the bed, while I was left to scramble off, envious.

"I understand, Bella. But please – know that I love you, then, now, and forever. I will be here when you find yourself, with open arms." He glided over to me now, and grasped both of my hands. "Nothing changes between us," he stressed. "I'm not going to disappear or leave town. I will continue to attend school, unless it's too hard on you, but Bella, remember I'm always here for you, okay?"

I was crying again now, I nodded my head, trying to blink away my tears. "I love you, Edward – forever." I whispered as he disappeared from my bedroom.

I collapsed on my bed, sobbing. It felt as though my heart was shattered. I am so stupid, why did I ever think this was a good idea! I felt a small hand on my back and looked up to see Alice's wide golden eyes. "Alice?" I questioned.

"Oh, Bella… did you think I was going to let my best friend do this alone, again?" She smiled a sad smile as I broke into another round of jagged sobs.

She sat on my bed with me, rubbing small circles on my back until I couldn't cry anymore.

I drifted off into a restless sleep sometime in the late afternoon. When I awoke, Alice wasn't with me – but I could smell something cooking. Startled that Charlie was cooking, I hurried down to try to save whatever he was making. I was shocked and relieved to find Alice in the kitchen, stirring a pot.

"Oh good, Bella," she whispered. "Come taste this, please."

I walked over and gingerly tasted the creamy white sauce. It was exquisite, as expected.

Strangely, I didn't feel completely shattered. I was certainly cracked in numerous places, but Alice was the perfect glue to keep me functioning.

I tried to appear somewhat cheery for Charlie as we ate and Alice flitted around the kitchen, cleaning up.

At one point, I pulled Alice aside and she quickly whispered "Bella, I told Charlie the basics of what happened, so he won't pry, or worry." She kindly left out so that he wouldn't worry if I looked like a zombie when I finally made my reappearance.

I smiled sheepishly and returned to the table, just picking at the plate in front of me.

After dinner, Alice said her goodbyes to Charlie and I, but I knew that she would be waiting upstairs for me after I was down showering.

When I walked into my room to get my pajamas, I found a wicker basket full of a million products designed to pamper a human. Scented soaps, bath salts, sponges, face masks, enough shampoo and conditioner to supply a small town, and many other fun, girly items.

I sighed happily and took the whole basket with me into the bathroom. I primped and pampered for at least an hour before I was thoroughly cleaned, groomed, and moisturized.

I walked back to my room to see Alice perched on my bed, a far away look on her face, her eyes glazed over. She came to as I pulled back the covers and slipped into bed, exhausted.

"Tomorrow will be a good day, Bella!" She trilled excitedly.

"Thank you, Alice. You're the best." I said warmly and with complete sincerity.

"That's what best friends are for, Bella. Sleep good, human," she winked at me and started rifling through my measly music collection.

I smiled to myself as I fell asleep. Tomorrow _would_ be a good day. I would go to school, sort of single, but with my best friend at my side.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like I would be able to find myself again, with just a little bit of searching and rearranging.


End file.
